Opening Chapters

You're walking in the park, and suddenly, you see this beautiful yellow flower, almost golden. It’s unlike any other flower you have ever seen. What would you do? You pluck it, because it is extraordinarily beautiful and you want to keep it for yourself. It’s a thing of beauty and you do not want to share it. You like sharing your food, your clothes. But when you see something so beautiful that it takes you closer to God every time you look at it, you want to take it and keep it for yourself. Hidden from others, hidden from sunlight. The flower withers away and you know it will die soon. But you keep it hidden. You still don’t keep it in the open so it gets some air and light for fear that someone else will come along and take it from you. You would not know what you would do if something like that happens. You will break and cry all day, longing for the flower that was yours back. But the flower was never yours. And it does not belong to the person who stole it from

I rose early today. Or rather, I hadn't gone to sleep at all. I couldn't sleep. My mind was ill at ease. It has been for a while. My thoughts kept wandering into the dark corners I did not want it to go to. But it was relentless. Every time I closed my eyes and thought I could finally rest, I’d jump up again. It was still dark when I finally decided to leave my eyes open for the rest of the day. I peeked at the window from my bed. The sky was starting to have a tinge of light blue, that beautiful blue when the sun rises. There is a reason why I love that colour, blue. All the different shades of it. The sky, the oceans. The sense of wonder that radiates from anything that is blue. I waited for a bit more and eventually decided to rise and brush my teeth. My routine used to include me fumbling for a cigarette before my brush, but things changed. I could use one now, when I think about it. The only thought that keeps me away from that little white stick is what I had t