Ciao Bella!

Two years, three months and twelve days. She had counted. She thought it would have gone on longer than this. Much longer. Certainly not less than five years.

But there they were. Split apart a little after two years since he shyly asked her out.

They had been through so much in those two years and three months. They did so much. They stood by each other. They fought each other. A lot.

They adopted a dog together. A black something. She didn't know what breed Bella was. He kept telling her but she kept forgetting.

Why Bella? he asked.

Bella means beautiful. Like her.

Bella is boring. Let's name her Catwoman.

What?! No. Bella.

Why not? It's cool and it's ironic.

My dog isn't for you to show how cool and clever you are. And it's not that clever.

Tell you what? Let's both call her what she wants. And whatever she responds to will be her name.

Bella stuck. But that was because she was sneaky. Every time she called out Bella, she would give the puppy a tasty treat. She was glad he didn't do the same. Running after a black dog in public calling her Catwoman as you chased her would not be fun.

She'd moved out of the apartment they shared. He was better at compartmentalizing his feelings. If she had continued staying there alone, she would have drowned in her own misery. Every where she looked, every thing in that apartment had a memory attached. She had enough reminders as it is of what she had lost. She didn't want to wake up to it and come back home to it every day.

But she wanted Bella back. And she was driving to the place she once called home to get her.

It wasn't that Bella loved her more or that she took care of her more. He would give her food and water when Bella needed it. He loved giving Bella baths more than she did. She wanted him to have Bella. But it was getting too lonely. She was shutting herself from the world. And she could not stand the silence any longer.

Why was Bella different? She never imagined she could feel so much for an animal that made a singular noise. She never imagined the depth of misery she felt without Bella was possible.

When they used to fight, he would storm out of the house to go have a smoke somewhere. She would say behind and cry. And Bella would come sit beside her. Not needing or wanting anything. She would sit next to her, giving the warmth and comfort of her furry body. Just watching her stomach move up and down and she breathed, sleeping peacefully - that was all that she needed to stop crying and call him and ask him to come back for dinner.

Bella never wanted anything. Food and water, and time. Time to play with her, to cuddle her. She just wanted to be close. To know that she was being loved. That was all she wanted. But Bella never acted out if she didn't get those things. She never lost her temper or bit you to get that time. And that was where she and Bella were different.

Each time she felt neglected, she acted out. She fought. She dragged in topics even she knew did not matter just to rile him up. She wanted him to feel the pain she felt and ended up causing both of them to feel more pain. And she drove him away.

She knocked three times on the door. She wasn't ready for this.

I came for Bella.

He shrugged and let her in. On the outside, he looked fine. As soon as he let her in he went and plopped down on the couch. He was watching The Simpsons.

That was odd. He didn't like that show. He said he found it crass and disturbing. And yet, there it was.

She went around picking up Bella's things. Bella was crouched at his feet. She seemed to know that a farewell was imminent. As she went around, she stole glimpses of the apartment. It was unkempt, lifeless. She saw covers for take outs strewn around the kitchen. She saw books gathering dust. Books he would read when he needed to find inspiration.

As she put all of Bella's things into the cardboard box she brought with her, something occurred to her. She walked quietly to the couch. She watched him as he watched the TV. He was broken. He looked lifeless. He kept pushing Bella away as she tried to get him to pet her.

Take her and go. I don't want to keep pushing her.

She tried to but her legs wouldn't move. She stood there, watching him. Finally, he looked at her and she saw something flicker in his eyes.

He didn't need anything but her by his side. He wasn't going to act out. He was just going to wait for her, patiently, to get her to give him her time.

So she set the box down and went up to the couch and sat next to him. Bella jumped up on their laps. He buried his head in her shoulder and began to sob. She was there and that was all that mattered.

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